16 and Pregnant: Should I Give The Baby Up?
Hi, my name is Kylie. 4 months ago me and my now ex boyfriend broke up. When we were dating we loved each other so much and had so much great memories together, so breaking up was EXTREMLEY hard. I was never really positive why we broke up, but he told the whole school it was because I was annoying and that hurt.
That wasn’t all as later he would go back and forth saying he would want to be with me then at school say he hated me. It just sucked because I loved him so much that I didn’t know how to handle breaking up. He emotionally abused me constantly and then at one point slapped me. After that we decided to just be friends, but even though we said we would be friends, we never talked.
1 month after that I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked. I had no idea what to do. I kept it a secret until the night I told him. I sent him a text saying I was pregnant. He replied, “we need to talk.” So later that night I drove to his house and he basically told me he was not going to be there. Which made me start to question adoption.
-Kylie
Dear Kylie,
Thanks for sharing your situation with me. It sounds like you have a lot of really important decisions to make. I think first of all, it sounds like it is for the best that you aren’t with this guy and that he doesn’t want to be a father. He sounds like he doesn’t respect you or your feelings and you don’t want a baby born into an abusive relationship that is so unstable.
Keeping the baby and adopting the baby are both options for you and no matter what you decide it’s important to do what’s best for the baby firstly, and secondly what’s best for you. Here are some questions to ask yourself.
- Will the baby be born into a loving and stable environment?
- Will you be able to financially care for the baby?
- Are you willing to give up your life as a teenager for the good of the baby?
- Do you have the desire to nurture and care for the baby so that it will thrive?
- Will your family be supportive and helpful if you have the baby?
- Could another loving couple give the baby things I cannot?
- Will I be able to live with the decision to give up the baby?
You certainly have a lot of life ahead of you and there is no shame for giving up a baby for adoption. There are 1000′s of couples that are just waiting for a baby since they can’t have their own and you could be a real blessing to their lives. Just think about the above questions and like I said, put the welfare of the child first.
Kindest regards,
Ted
Filed Under: Ask a Counselor, Parenting, Teen Issues
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Comments (2)
Kylie,you may not have planned for the Child but one thing for sure is that God planned for that Child. you may not even believe in God but trust me,He loves you just as much as he loves that unborn baby. Don’t give up on that child just as your parents never gave up on you and allowed you to leave and be loved by people around you. that child has a bright future ahead.
I know how hard breakups are when you are in love with the other person and you aren’t sure why. Regardless of how much you love someone, there is no reason for abuse. You deserve more than what he can give you.
Adoption is a chioce you will need to make on your own. It is a relationship that will be forever. Especially if you make a plan for an open adoption. I want to thank you for thinking about what is best for your baby.
You see, my husband and I have struggled with having a child. We have been married for 13 years and we are looking to adopt. There are alot of families out there that are looking to have a families through adoption.
If you are still trying to decide, you can call a local adoption agency and there should be a Birth Parent counsoler that will be able to talk to you about your options. Please remember that there they should never ask you for money.
I will be praying for you and the baby. If you would like, please check out our website at http://www.patrickrebeccaadoption.com. Thank you and God Bless!!
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