I went to see my first psychiatrist which was a big mistake because he put me on Cymbalta which made me have suicidal thoughts. I tried to run my power chair off a steep ramp into a lake near my neighborhood. Someone came to help me back up and took me home.

Well, when my second psychiatrist heard about what happened, he sent me over to the mental hospital in Bethany, Oklahoma. I stayed there for 3 weeks with my caregiver coming to take care of me since I can’t physically take care of myself. Anyway, after I was discharged from the hospital, he put me on the right medicine which stabilized my mood swings. I went to see Dr. Gilbert, my psychiatrist once a week. Anyway, I was doing better that he released me from going back to work.

As time past, I was feeling pretty good with taking my medicine every day. Well, I was involved in an accident where a car came around the corner, and wasn’t paying attention and hit me in my chair while I was riding in my neighborhood. My chair flipped over backwards and the old lady that was driving hit the right side of my chair that broke my right leg. I had to lay in bed with my right leg in a brace for 3 months. It totaled my power chair. However, the lady that hit me had State Farms insurance that paid for a new power chair and an orthopedic bed which was good. However, my new chair doesn’t fit me right because it’s too wide and narrow. That’s not such a big deal right now.

Before my accident, I was able to get down to crawl around on the floor and sit with my knees apart sitting down on my bottom on the floor. However, I’m unable to do it now since I had me accident. I’m going to physical therapy twice a week now to gain back my crawling and sitting down on my knees again. In the meantime, I still get depressed and think about suicide occasionally.

I have Community Care insurance since I’m working. However, Dr. Gilbert doesn’t take Community Care any more which means I’m not seeing him now. I don’t have a psychiatrist to go see now. However, I’m supposed to meet with my counselor next Friday morning to talk about everything that’s going on inside my head. However, I still have those bad feelings and thoughts again.

I would like your opinions on how to stop those thoughts that keep haunting me please?