I have been held back for a couple of years in college. I wasn’t satisfied with the program I got into so it led me to slack of and be demotivated to study. Until finally, I was kicked out of my current program and forced to look for another one. Apparently, I found a program that was more to my liking. However, this program was looked upon as an non-prestigious and very unfamiliar program by many. From there, i tried to start all over again.

I entered college under an engineering program. Even before college, I wanted to enter the health sciences career. However, due to the school’s reputation and the prestige it may bring, my parents convinced me to go to this school instead of the other less prestigious schools but in which I had the opportunity to have a health science degree.

Apparently, having been held back for a couple of years has greatly damaged my reputation and credibility, especially to my family and friends. You see, I live in a very traditional and idealistic society wherein they expect every student to finish on time and do well in school whatever degree they are subjected to. My case, on the other hand, was different to them in which they have developed an understanding that what happened to me was due to the fact that I was dumb and a delinquent. But contrary to that, I have done well during my elementary days and high school days. It’s just the motivation and the willingness to accept what I was subjected to was the major problem in my situation.

Now being in my second program, I tried to come back and do better this time. But with that kind of stigma on me, especially from my family, relatives and friends, it started to damage my ego and take its toll on my determination to recover. There were many times when I thought that I might have as well ruined my future, or ruined my good academic reputation which I built during my elementary and high school years.

I am still in the program though, however performing averagely and trying to cope up with constant stigmas of degradation and discrimination. I always have this tendency to retreat or withdraw from peer groups, relationships, or friendships when I feel or sense that they have that kind of impression on me. Now, I have trouble establishing friends and peer groups because of my sensitivity and paranoia to this issue.

What should I do? How will I face and get over this situation? Furthermore, how do I start over given that I have already ruined so many potential relationships because of this?