I’m only 12 and I have nobody to talk to. My friends don’t understand completely, I can’t tell my parents something like this, and my sister is too busy with her baby and boyfriend.
I feel fat compared to ALL my friends!! They can wear a bikini and look amazing, but I have big love-handles. It’s winter and I’m not very active right now. I’ve tried eating less and now I’m to the point where I’m hurting my body physically. I don’t know what to do and I just want to be thin fast and easy. Please help!
-Marie
Dear Marie,
Thanks for your question and I’m glad you wrote in. It has never been harder to be a girl in our society I’m afraid. Girls are always being bombarded by the media with images of what beauty should look like and it seems like there is no escape as images are on billboards, TV, magazines, and the internet. My heart really goes out to you and all the 95% of girls who don’t fit into the perfect girl mold.
Many girls such as yourself, fall into eating disorders because they want to be thin so bad. The problem is that when they do become thin, they still see themselves as fat in the mirror which just continues the cycles of throwing up or not eating. It’s really sad that a girl’s whole worth is tied to how she looks according to the media and a segment of society.
I encourage you to focus on being healthy. Eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and get out and exercise even if it is winter, but most importantly learn to love yourself and realize that there is no perfect shape or weight. If you want to be thinner then do it the right way, which takes some time, but you will be healthier in the process.
One of the first steps to loving yourself is to stop comparing yourself to others. Realize that those girls that you think are so perfect, also have things that they hate about themselves as well. It’s only when we let go of that quest for perfection can we truly be healthy and be ourselves.
I’m sure you have a lot to offer the world and a lot of love to give to those around you. Find the talents you have and work to make the most of them. As for your developing eating disorder, you really need to tell your family. I’m sure they love you and will give you the help and support you need to stop harming yourself. Know that you are loved and thought of as beautiful by God and He has never made anything unlovely.
I wish you the best and my prayers are with you.
Sincerely,
Ted
Other Helpful Articles
i guess your right, you have amazing advice. i dont have an eating disorder though,i couldnt possibly not eat or even make myself throw up.i understand i cant compare myslef to others but with the middle school presure of being thin and looking good, its hard not too.over the summer we will b taking pictures and all my friends will look amazing with their beautiful body and then i will look big and fat,and they will have thoes pictures forever. i want to eat healthy but its hard when your a kid and u want 2 b able to eat candy.
i love running a lot but its cold and we had a huge snow break and the teachers are throwing homework at us and i feel like i have no time. i just want to be happy with the way i look.
I wasn’t sure what you meant about hurting your body, so I was a bit concerned. I understand about the candy, but could you limit candy to once a week as a special treat? Just focus on being healthy and realize that you are growing and developing and I have known a lot of girls that were overweight at your age, but as they matured and adopted a healthy lifestyle they trimmed down and became very fit… The key is to enjoy life and to not obsess about they way you look. Those that really love you, love you for what’s on the inside anyway. I do understand how hard it is and I encourage you focus on loving yourself and others.
But all this is so much easier said than done. I am 17 years old, and I too struggle with a negative body image. I exercise 6 days a week and eat fairly healthy. But I struggle with binge eating sweets. After every episode, I feel like I’ve accumulated so much fat and I hate myself. I know that I must love myself and stop comparing myself with other young women whom I find so much prettier than myself. But for me, I need a concrete, God-centered plan to overcome a low self-esteem and unhealthy eating habits. Is it possible to obtain such a plan?
Yes Chelsy,
A counseling program that uses REBT Therapy can be a great tool to undo faulty thinking ( irrational beliefs) which are the underlying source of low self esteem and some eating habits. 
|
|
|
