I was in a relationship for 5 years with a guy who is HIV positive until I found out.

We never had sex without condoms and I went 3 times to the doctor and I tested negative.  I just did one test last month and I’m still negative. I confided in an ex-friend and told her about my situation. Then I met this guy who I’ve been dating for 1 year now.  That ex-friend told him and all my friends that I’m a carrier even though I have all my results from the doctor.

She is spoiling my reputation and I’m very depressed sometimes. I feel like committing suicide.  The guy who I’ dating always says stuff too about what my ex-friend said.  What can I do? I’m really at the edge right now and she is the one who introduced me to the guy. What can I do?

-Jenny

Dear Jenny,

That seems like a very difficult situation you are in as no one enjoys being gossiped about and judged unfairly.  I think the first thing for you to do is sit down with your boyfriend, show him your results and ask him to accept this as your past and not hold it against you. You can also agree to continue to be tested for the duration of the risk period.

As for your ex-friend, you could go the legal route since she is defaming your character, but this could create more stress and perhaps a financial burden. The other option is to realize that there will always be people in your life that will seek to tear you down and talk behind your back for all kinds of selfish reasons.

You have to rise above all that garbage, love yourself enough to stand in the truth and know that it will prevail in the end. That stuff only has power over you when you let it destroy you…don’t give it that power. You have been in a risky situation and have come out healthy and alive, don’t throw that gift away as you have purpose for being here. That is something to be grateful and happy for. Focus on people that love you and don’t judge you. The ones that do judge you will eventually reap what they sow.

I encourage you to hang in there, rise above, and look forward to a future filled with good things.  Never compromise and learn to make decisions that will help you to achieve your dreams in life.

Sincerely,

Ted