Ask a Counselor: Why am I Continually Being Excluded?

By | December 14, 2009

why-am-I-excludedWhy does it hurt so much?

I’m continuously being disciplined by being excluded from meetings at church like prayer meetings and invitations to join certain groups.

I really want to be a part of everything, but am being shut out. We’ve been faithful for over 20 years and have never been difficult. I feel the leaders are putting people against me and I haven’t done any wrong to any of them.


Dear Jenny,

No one likes being excluded or made to feel unwanted and it does hurt. From what you wrote I don’t know much about the church you attend, but it doesn’t sound like a very healthy place to be involved.

The church is about relationships, with Christ and with other believers. Any Institution that excludes or discriminates is not what God intends His church to be. It may be hard, but I would find another place to worship that has an open door policy, where all are welcome to all events or meetings. Also I would recommend reading “So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore” which does a great job of describing what the church really looks like and the pitfalls that most religious institutions fall into.

You said you thought you were being disciplined, but I disagree. I think God is leading you to something better which is why you feel the discontent and dissatisfaction with how things are going at your current place of worship. Always remember that God loves you and He is especially fond of you, therefore, He will allow things to be shaken up from time to time so that you will be able to experience a greater depth of life, love, and relationship.

Don’t allow other people’s faults and insecurities be a personal indictment against you because I’m sure their discrimination has nothing to do with you but everything to do with their own character flaws. You take the high road and continue to love and accept and look for healthy groups that will love and accept you.

Kindest regards,


3 thoughts on “Ask a Counselor: Why am I Continually Being Excluded?

  1. Jenny

    Thank you Ted for your kind counsel. At times if feels that there is no such thing as kindness around. Bless you and I hope God will cause you to be very fruitful as you reach out to others so unselfishly. Jenny

  2. admin

    Thanks for the kind words Jenny, and I assure you, there are kind, friendly people out there and I pray that God will lead you to them.

  3. Joan Harris

    Ted. I need this same prayer. I know exactly what Jenny is experiencing. I’m beginning to wonder if church is for me.

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