I am a young man in my late 20′s and have been going out with my girlfriend for about 8 months now. About 3 years ago there was this lady (ex-lover) I really liked and wanted to go out with but for some reasons she turned me down. I continued pursuing her within those 3 years doing everything to win her, but each time she turned me down though she said she loved me and that the problem was she didn’t know her plans and was not ready to be in a relationship. We did a lot of intimate things within those 3 years although I never slept with her.

I did not know how to deal with my ex-lover, I did not want to be with her anymore but did not know how to handle her constant crying and begging. I asked a friend of mine who said I should tell her to calm down and let me think things through. So I told her that, but telling her that was a mistake because it only gave her hope. Her hope and my sex drive, which I could not control, started an affair. Feeling guilty I tried to stop, telling her that she should forget about me but didn’t work. This continued for some months and the unfortunate thing happened, she became pregnant. Read the rest of this entry »

I have never been interested in the area of sex as a young girl. I always just thought I was too shy and prude and never thought it would come into my marriage. When I got married my first experience of sex was not pleasant, being a virgin, it was painful and felt disgusting.

I am at my wits end as to what to do as I want to please my husband in this way, but if I were to make the decision on this I would happily never have sex again. Read the rest of this entry »

I will try to make this as short as possible but to the point. My wife and I are both Christians. We have been married 16 years. She was a virgin when we married and STILL is today, 16+ years later. Yes, you read that correct, we have never had sex.

My wife is also very verbally abusive, all the classic signs, I never do anything right, name calling, everything is my fault, etc. and she does not think there is anything wrong with her, it is all me.

I guess I have stayed this long because for most of our marriage we were in church leadership and I did not want to be seen as a hypocrite, as I am not a fan of divorce and did not want to set a “bad” example.

We have been out of leadership for about 3 years and I’m at the point of leaving. When confronted she may be a little better for a couple of weeks, but then goes to back to her old ways.

She has no desire for me sexually, anything sexual has always been her being pleased. In fact she has stated numerous times, touching me in a sexual way is DISGUSTING. Her idea of counseling is that I go – because I need help. So what to do?

-Brett

Dear Brett

First, I would like to thank you Read the rest of this entry »

This is one question that I hear a lot and it deserves some time and thought especially when it seems that  many Christians are more messed up sexually than those not having a particular faith.

Growing up in church, I was taught that any sexual acts or thoughts outside of marriage was wrong and lustful and of course the Bible was used as justification of this. Also, sexual sin was put up on a pedestal as being the worst while other sins were acceptable or minor. For instance, don’t masturbate, but it’s Ok if I pleasure myself with 5 plates of food at the church pot luck.

If the Bible is a sexual manual, what would it tell us?

• More than one wife is acceptable. Read the rest of this entry »

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. We were each other’s first love. I cheated on my boyfriend 2 months ago and did not come clean until recently. All he knew was that I kissed the other boy and hung out with him a couple of times.

My boyfriend broke up with me immediately and told his family. However recently, we started to talk to each other again and realized that we truly love each other. He had never fallen out of love with me— it was because I betrayed him. We decided to reconcile slowly but not tell his family as they clearly hate me now.

A few days ago, I went to get my usual pap test and found that I had chlamydia. A day after I found out, my boyfriend gave me a surprise visit–told me he loved me and was willing to work on our relationship.Although I loved hearing those words, I could not deceive him any longer…I knew telling him that I cheated on him by sleeping with the other guy and telling him I had chlamydia was the right thing to do.

Of course, he was completely disgusted and hurt. I told him, that I would move with him to his city, drop everything, and deal with this issue that I was responsible for. He agreed that we should deal with this together–he was angry, yelled and screamed at me but I deserved it. He would also tell me he loved me and we will get through this together.

On our way to his city, he decided to call his father Read the rest of this entry »