Christian Dating a Non-Christian
Let me first of all say this, I am a non-christian. I do not judge nor push my beliefs on others. I believe everyone should have the right to believe in what they want.
I have been brought up to believe for myself and not let society teach me right from wrong. I am not a bad person. I always think in other peoples shoes, therefore I sacrifice my own happiness to see others smile (I understand this might sound bad, but making someone else smile is like a life dream that I have).
To summarize my beliefs on here, I believe that there is a greater force out there in the universe. I just don’t believe religion is my answer to salvation. Religion nowadays has been changed by man so much that it’s hard for me to follow it.
I dont cheat, I dont steal, I dont lie…these are the things that my parents taught me and I follow on a regular basis. I work hard to accomplish what I have and I will go through any amount of struggle to achieve a goal.
Now to my question…
I have met a girl that is really fun to be around. She’s smart, beautiful, funny, and just a joy to be with. Unfortunately she doesn’t see a future with me because of the fact of me not following the Christian faith. Other than that she say’s I am an awesome person and that she has never met a guy like me in her life.
I am unfamiliar with the teachings of the bible/church on this subject and wish to gain some insight and a better understand if possible.
Thank you for your time,
Alf
Dear Alf,
This is an issue that a lot of Christian people face because I think there is some faulty teaching in this area. The number one reason I think that the teaching is faulty is that the divorce rate among Christians is just as high as non-Christians. If the “magical” formula for a successful marriage was to only date a Christian then Christian couples would fare better, don’t you think?
What matters most is compatibility and strength of character. Religion can be an issue of incompatibility for some of strict backgrounds, but in your case I don’t see it as an issue because you don’t have a strong religious stance one way or another, but would allow her to practice her faith how she wishes.
If you both love each other, respect each other, and love each other’s company then I just don’t think the Christian or non-Christian thing should be the deal breaker. Maybe you could ask your girlfriend to study this issue herself and get some perspective on it, other than what she has always been taught and accepted as the truth without seeking the truth herself.
The verse in the bible most commonly used to warn people against this is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
This verse has been used to condemn all kinds of relationships, but it is generally used out of context and it has produced a spirit of fear and discrimination among Christians instead of one of love and acceptance which is what Christ taught. Ask this girl to really consider what the truth is here and then go from there.
All the best,
Ted
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Comments (1)
Hello there,
I hope my email finds you well. I am seeking advise regarding dating someone who isn’t a Christian.
I am 29, and have been a Christian all my life and Jesus means everything to me. My Christian walk guides my every decision.
I have never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, due to the fact that I either meet men who want to have sex, and I don’t believe in sex before marriage or I just don’t have any attraction to them. I never thought it was wrong dating a nominal Christian as long as they too believed in holding sex for marriage, as I saw so many examples of people dating and drawing their partner to faith.
6 months ago, I started dating an agnostic guy who comes from a Christian home. He is lovely. He has a very charitable heart and is generous, loyal, faithful and isnt pressuring me for sex. However he does swear. He knows I don’t like this and tries not to do it.
We have had problems connecting deeply, because I hold myself back. I keep feeling like I’m committing a sin by even dating him. Yet I know that in reality people do date non Christians and they come to Christ through prayer and example. So I cannot breakup with him solely based on our conflicting world view. Yet I feel condemned by my Christian friends that I’m dating a non Christian.
I have been praying to God to tell me what to do, whether to continue with him or break up, but I dont seem to be hearing a response. Is it because I shouldn’t even be dating him?
I guess I just need to know that God will not punish me for dating this guy and taking a more practical approach to things. I really genuinely believe that I can get to know him and it could somehow work out, and for that reason I should hang on. Am I wrong?
Many thanks,
Melina
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