Dear Jewels,

So sorry about your loss. I think part of this is the grieving process. Everyone grieves in their own way and since he died overseas and tragically, it can be harder to find closure for the whole thing.

Also, if there was unresolved anger or resentment involving your husband and/or marrige this could also be contributing to your behaviors and feelings. If your marriage was having problems, but you thought you could work on it when he got back, but then he never came back, these things have been left unresolved in your mind.

In any event, I think after 4 years it’s time that you put his death behind you and move on with your future. It would probably be healthy to put those autopsy pictures away or even get rid of them as it sounds like they are preventing closure. Also, see if there are any support groups for military widows or see a counselor to work through any unresolved issues.

If you haven’t been dating, I suggest you get back out in the dating world as well. The love of another human being can be quite healing and I’m sure you are a great woman who deserves to be loved and cherished and I’m sure you have a lot of love to give.

Just take some of the pressure off of yourself to feel or grieve a certain way and learn to let go of all this, say goodbye to your husband, and focus on building a bright future for yourself.

Kindest regards,

Ted