I Lost the Girl I love Forever
So I was with this girl for around 4-5 months we broke up and ended up somewhat back together for another 4-5 months. She loved me more than anything, but I wasn’t really accepting of myself as being gay, which caused me to push her away and end our relationship.
I get denying to myself that I was madly in love with her. She then met someone else and fell in love with her when they were dating before she passed away. I was completely destroyed I hated myself for being a coward and letting her get away… But now worst of all is that she passed away a few days ago.
Not only am I heartbroken that she is gone, but devastated that I never got to truly be with her, never got to show her how much I truly loved her. Now more than anything, I’m regretting it all so much, it hurts so bad, and I hate myself, its hard to not feel like I just want to crawl in a hole and die…
-Miranda
Dear Miranda,
This is indeed a very sad situation and I’m so sorry this has happened. If you could ask your love what she would want for you, I’m sure she would say that she wants you to be happy. She would never want you to be miserable or to crawl in hole and die, but instead live a happy, full life.
You really have to put this behind you by grieving for your love and eventually moving on with your life. It’s hard to see this now, but there is a big world out there full of great places to see and wonderful people to meet. I’m sure there is someone else out there that needs a wonderful girl like you to love and be loved by.
I’m sure deep down, your love knew how much you cared about her and she is at peace. It’s ok to grieve and to miss her, but also get out there and take small steps each day towards living and achieving your dreams.
Kindest regards and deepest sympathies,
Ted
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