I’m Having an Affair With a Married Man

I’m with a guy who is married and has two kids. we have been together for 7 months and I want more for the relationship and he says he is not going to leave his kids..that he would leave his wife for me.

What can I do to help him figure something out, or what can I do to help myself. I’m in love.

-Meg

Dear Meg,

Thanks for sharing your situation with me and I think most women in your shoes have found nothing but heartache in similar situations to yours.

The best thing you can do for yourself and for this guy is to walk away and don’t look back. I know you love this guy, but he is more or less using you for sex. He has his wife and family to do life wife, but he just comes calling when he wants sex. Am I right?

Most of the time the guy never leaves the wife and just strings the mistress along. Don’t waste anymore of your time and love on this guy, he’s not available and it’s never a good thing to play a part in breaking up a marriage especially when there are innocent kids involved.

Find a guy that is available and who will love just you as well as share his life with you. You deserve the best and this isn’t it. Only heartache and drama will result from staying in this situation.

Kind regards,

Ted

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Filed Under: Adultery, Ask a Counselor

Comments (9)

Arvind November 17th, 2010 at 6:58 am    

Hi,

It is hard to believe but appears to be true that such situations arise because of your relationship with the guy in your previous life. You both perhaps had a great relationship then and perhaps it ended abruptly.
It is hard for him and for you and very hard for his spouse too.
You both will have to address it. I will suggest you to reduce your intensity of relationship slowly by meeting less frequently. Try to convert this relationship into that of a good friend (not lovers).This way you will still be together and would be able to take control of your lives.
Remember, his wife is looking after him and his family. She should not be hurt for none of her faults.As a woman you can understand that. And yes, if he leaves his wife today for YOU, tomorrow he might leave you for SOME ONE ELSE.
Best wishes

Arvind

Honey April 3rd, 2011 at 7:32 pm    

I am 35 female with 5 kids who is seeing a married man. Its nothing seriuos its just physical but i feel like i keep falling into the same trap after i get my heart broken. I get sexually involved with a emotionial unavailable man who is involved with someone else i have been going through this pattern every since i was 16 and i discovered that men can say they love and not be faithful. Why do i keep go down this path

admin April 3rd, 2011 at 7:37 pm    

@Honey, I would recommend the above advice and also would suggest that you see a therapist weekly so that you can get the bottom of why you choose the wrong guys. I would guess this has to do with how you feel about and view yourself. You have to first love and respect yourself in order to find good relationships. Looking to others to validate you and make you feel of worth will always crumble eventually.

jO November 19th, 2011 at 8:00 pm    

Honey… all I can say is- My ex husband left his wife for me and now he left me for some other woman, once he cheats and leaves he will do it again…

JS November 28th, 2011 at 12:53 am    

I’m 23 and having an affair with a man who is 44. We are both married, but he has two kids. I think it stems from the fact that neither one of us are getting what we need from our spouses at home. He says that he would leave her except that he has two kids, and he has to think about them. But honestly, I don’t know that I would leave my husband for someone twice my age. We are both very emotionally as well as physically involved. We can’t stay away, but it’s heartbreaking for both of us.

Leslie December 17th, 2011 at 9:39 am    

I WAS MARRIED TO MY SOUL MATE AND FATHER OF OUR THREE CHILDREN FOR 28+YEARS, I FORGIVE HIM FOR (ALL THE GARBAGE HE HAS CAUSED),HE
SINCE MARRIED FOR THREE YEARS TO A WOMAN SHE HAS HER OWN FAMILY AND EX.,I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK TO BE FAITHFUL I NEED HIM I SURVIVED CANCER AND I CURRENTLY HAVE M.S. I NEED MY HUSBAND OF OUR YOUTH BACK… HE HAS TOLD ME EITHER HE WANTS US BOTH OR HE HAS NOT TOLD HER GOODBYE… PLEASE RESPOND GOD BLESS LESLIE

lisa December 30th, 2011 at 12:26 am    

I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN OK? AND HE ‘DID’ LEAVE HIS WIFE TO BE WITH ME, BUT GUESS WHAT? IN THE END, THE GUILT OF WHAT HE DID TO HER, RUINED OUR RELATIONSHIP. WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER, BUT HE SAYS THE LORD WON’T LET US BE HAPPY. WE MESSED UP, AND WE GOTTA PAY…THAT IS HIS REASONING FOR LEAVING ME. HE STILL EMAILS ME, AND STILL TELLS ME HOW MUCH I MEAN TO HIM, BUT HE IS CURRENTLY MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN. IM SURE HE CHEATED ON ME FOR HER, SO HERE IS MY ADVICE LADIES: ***DO NOT PUT HIS WIFE
THROUGH THIS!!!!******
YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, THINK OF HOW U WOULD FEEL IF HE CHEATED ON U WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!! GO FIND A SINGLE MAN!!!!

LISA December 30th, 2011 at 12:32 am    

****ONE MORE THING LADIES****
LOOK AT WHO ‘U’ ARE…I GOT INVOLVED W/MARRIED MAN BECAUSE I DID NOT LOVE ‘ME’
IF I COULD, I WOULD CREATE A SUPPORT GROUP FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE BEEN W/MARRIED MEN. IT’S HARD TO BREAK FREE, AND IT MAY TAKE A LOOONG TIME, OR MAYBE NEVER TO GET OVER HIM?? BUT, KEEP THINKING HIS POOR WIFE IS AT HOME WORRIED SICK WHERE IS HE, AND AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? WOULD ‘YOU’ WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT PAIN??? THEN DON’T DO IT TO HER!!!!
THANK YOU, IM DONE LOL (FOR NOW) UNTIL I THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY

Asha February 19th, 2012 at 7:16 am    

Well well,

I would say its just “7 months” – RUN AWAY!
med – this was posted in 2010 and I hope you are not in a relation with the person anymore. For everyone else out there who is looking for a solution, you know that deep inside you feel the need to be “wanted” much above that the man’s real time wife. :) ah that’s the truth. we love the way a man appreciates and wants us more than his current.

Remember that if b any rare chances you try to replace his current wife and help him get legally separated – you are taking the smooth way to hell. No I am not talking about committing a sin here (though yes it is the worse sin) – I am talking about living in a relationship equivalent to “hell”. That would noooo way give you the happiness that you expect or dream off at the moment. I am sure the sex would be great, the passion to meet and see each other would be running high. The man would feel that this was the one he was waiting for and the woman would feel that this would be the one that lasts. That’s just until the initial dust settles in. you would see the following answers being provided to you, when you need him the most:

I did that for the kids
I am in the relation only for the kids
If I dont do that, then she might think I hve an affair
You never realize how much I love you inspite of me having a wife and kids to take care of
Its my social responsibility
I love you more than anyone else

Ask him to leave for you….

you see him silent and giving you no answers or totally avoiding you

do you really wish to be in a relation where your man does not realize how important it is to be true to you and love you without letting anything come in between?

Let me tell you that I am waiting and still waiting for that “one love” that would make sure that I am his no 1.

If you dont get it at the end – realize that it was just not worth coming your way.

Move on from a Man who is already taken. The obne for you is on his way, just that you locked that door for a married person! comeon…its fine you got involved, it happens to most everyone, but you need to get out of it and start healing yourself.

You hve been hurt a lot right? That’s you sought the internet and you could not seek your friends for help. You know you hate this.

I know it too.. move on. its worth it

Leave a reply

Name *

Mail *

Website