I’m Uncomfortable In a Crowd

I really get uncomfortable when I’m with many people. I am me when I’m at home, but when I am at school it seems that it’s not me. I really can’t speak up to many people. I’m 15. I hate it when someone is asking why I am very shy or silent. I don’t know what to answer. I’m trying to overcome it but it is not easy for me to be confident. I don’t want to be shy anymore especially I’m going to college now. Please. Help me.

-Gladys

Dear Gladys,

Thanks for sharing your situation with me and you’re certainly not alone in struggling with shyness or being uncomfortable around a lot of people. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you. Some people are extroverts and others like you are introverts. This is a personality type and some people are some where on that continuum, you seem pretty far over to the introvert side of the scale.

There are some things you can do, to feel a little more comfortable  in crowd situations and this basically involves you putting yourself in these situations and taking just small steps while in them. Like challenge yourself to talk to two people in the crowd, then the next time challenge yourself to talk to 3 people and so on. You can even find conversation tips on the internet that can help you remember what questions to ask that engage people in conversation.

Secondly, a lot of actors and musicians are actually introverts. Performing is a way they stretch themselves to be comfortable in crowds.. It would be helpful to pursue some type of extra curricular activities that put you in some type of performance role, even if it’s debating or giving speeches. I’m not sure what your talents are but get involved in something that will allow you to use them in away that will also help you to be more comfortable in public.

In any event, just remember that there’s nothing wrong with you and continue to allow yourself to grow in this area, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do so. Just take it one small step at a time.

All the best,

Ted