Is This a Normal Mother Daughter Relationship?

I am fifteen. I know it sounds quite stupid for me to be asking questions on a website full of strangers but I cannot ask my friends because they are the same age as I am and it is easy for them to feel the same way I do. They also may be bias since I am their friend.

-Oatmeal

Dear Oatmeal

Thanks for asking your question and this is an issue that many teens your age struggle with. You art becoming an independent young woman, but you are still under your parent’s authority. I think you should ask yourself the following questions;

1. Does your mom love you?
2. Does she want what’s best for you?

If you answered yes to them, then I would suggest that your mom is making decisions that she feels is best. I think you should trust in her ability to know what is best as she is older and has more experience. When I was fifteen, I thought I knew everything, but now I realize how little I did know. I think your mom is just trying to spare you from potential problems that could arise from a perhaps unwise decision.

Now I do believe that your mom should hear your side of the issue as long as you’re presenting this in a respectful way. Also, I don’t agree with your mother using the threat of sending you away as leverage. She should simply just stick to her decision and not make those types of threats.

Like it or not most teens go through this and you are lucky to have a mother that will say no and not just try to be your best friend. Believe it or not, It really shows a lot of love to tell someone you love no because it shows you have the greater good for that person in mind. Soon you will be off on your own and making all your own decisions. Believe me, that is a lot of responsibility so enjoy this time of your life where you can leave the hard stuff up to your mother because before you know it, you’ll be out in the big old world and probably wishing you had someone to make decisions for you..

All the Best,

Ted