Marriage, Family, and Financial Heartbreak

I am trying my best to find my way out of the depressed state I am in. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have been through alot but last August he lost his job and when he finally found another in February he took a signifcant pay cut but it keeps the bills paid. We do not get to go out and do much, one reason because of money and the other because he works nights and I work days.

We have two children, a 19 year old daughter and 11 year old son. I work in a very busy law office handling divorces and custody issues, it is extremely stressful but the money is where it needs to be and I know it adds to my problem due to the fast crazy pace that is usually going on but I cannot afford to go elswhere right now. Before my husband ever lost his better job I had an affair on him in 2009 because he was not showing me enough attention and we recovered from that but it was hard. I do not talk to the person I had an affair with nor have I ever did it again. I love to have extra money, who dont right, and I love to go out, go on vacations, go shopping all the things most women love.

My husband will go places with me sometimes but it does not seem he enjoys it, it seems that he is just doing it to please me but he is more of a homebody or he enjoys playing video games or playing softball and that is pretty much it. I love him dearly but I feel like I do not know what to do at this point in my life. I am 35 and he is 38. I want to start my own online business, I want to create supplemental income because I think that would ease the financial pain but I dont know if it will fix me. My mother sufferred from anxiety and bipolar related issues off and on for years before her death and she worried alot too. My only sibling, a sister, is older and now suffers from anxiety issues, depression, attention disorders and slight skitzophrania. She is on alot of medication and it helps her somewhat.

I do not want to go down that path and my husband tells me it is not the finanical slump we are in (we are fortunate enought to keep bills paid and food in our bellies just cant go shop and have much fun) but he feels my whole problem is that the mental illness issues that my mom and sister had could be something that I am picking up genetically. I dont know. I have always been a strong independent woman, I run our household, I cook, work, clean, pay the bills, mow the yard I do it all with a little help from my husband and kids, I was strong for my sister and my mother through their battles up until recently.

My mother passed away last year from COPD and my sister is in a group home that helps her but I feel I am falling apart. It is hard to go out and do things I used to love, it is hard to do anything that once was me and I get aggravated at everything that husband and kids do anymore.

Please help any advice from a third party is welcomed because I cannot figure myself out and I dont like to accept what my husband and kids may tell me because I feel they are just going off of what they saw out of my family and not giving me an objective opinion and what I can do about it.

-Christie