My Family is Using Me for Money

I need help, I am feeling like my brother and sister in law don’t respect me at all, I feel like a doormat and a bank machine, because they are always asking me for money. The more money I give them, the more money they want. I cant take this anymore, I have run out of ideas on what to do, I need help to find the courage to stand up to them.

I also want them to know that I still love and care for them…what should I do?

Sincerely,

Heather

Dear Heather,

Thanks for sharing your problem with me. You are in a tough spot because of the family dynamic, but you do need to put a stop to this.

You really need to stand up to them, tell them that you love them, but you will no longer give them any money. Whatever their issues are, you actually are enabling them to continue in their dysfunction by always bailing them out. You actually would be showing them more love by not giving them money and forcing them to stand on their own two feet.

I’m sure they will be angry and whine like spoiled brats. They may even make threats and try desperately to think of ways to make you feel guilty. Don’t listen to them, you are doing the right thing and you need to know they love you for you and not for your money. Just be tough, stand your ground and expect this weaning process to take a little time as they will be testing your resolve.

You seem like a lovely lady with a big heart and deserve to be treated with respect as well as loved for who you are, not for what you can do for people.

Kindest regards,

Ted