My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We live together and we are engaged. Here is the problem. I suffer from depression and anxiety, so I already stress about stuff all the time. I recently found out that my girlfriend has been talking to a guy she used to sleep with.
She was in love with him, but he didn’t want a relationship with her. She told me that she was just a booty call for him and that was why she stopped talking to him. He was one of her closest friends. She has told me numerous times that she hasn’t talked to him since we have been together.
She left her email open on the computer and when I sat down to browse the web, I happened to see it. I wasn’t snooping, the page was open. The page that was open were the emails that the two of them had exchanged. She told him that she misses him and wanted him to come visit her. He lives about 4 hours away now. He told her that he would work on getting up here to see her and asked for her address so that he could send her stuff. On top of that, when I looked at the phone bill I noticed that she has been texting him.
I don’t generally look at the phone records. I respect her privacy, but this kind of pushed me to do it. I should probably tell you that this is not the first time she has kept something like this from me.
About 6 months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to find that my girlfriend was gone. When I called her, she told me that she just went to get food, because she was hungry. She got back in about 3 minutes. She came in with no food and when I asked her about it she said that she had lied and that she went to pick up a friend of hers, a male, that needed a ride home. This was a guy that she met at work.
I have never met him before. He lives about 2 blocks from our house. My theory is that she went over there to hang out. I don’t see why she lied about it in the first place. Why couldn’t she just tell me the truth? She could of told me that a friend needed a ride home and I probably wouldn’t have cared. Hell, I would have even gone with her to get him.
I still don’t think she has told me the complete story about that night. So, back to the original reason for writing this post. I don’t know what to think about her talking to this guy that she used to sleep with. It is really depressing to read that your girlfriend misses someone else. She misses him and wants him to come visit? WTF.
What if he does come down here and she doesn’t tell me about it? I am a nervous wreck. I haven’t slept in what seems like a week, my meds don’t seem to be working lately and I am constantly wondering what else is going to happen. She keeps her phone within arm’s reach at all times also.
Not that I am trying to snoop, but it seems like she has something on there that she doesn’t want me to see. Text messaged maybe? Does anyone out there have any advice? Sorry this is such a long post btw.
I think you do have cause for concern. She has lied to you and isn’t being honest about this ex-lover either.
I think you have to protect your mental wellbeing here and let this girl go. I think she is going to bring you a lot of misery and a potential breakdown because of her dishonesty.
You do not want to be married to a person that lies, tells half truths and plans visits with ex-lovers behind your back. I hate to break it to you but this girl isn’t the one.
Allow both of yourselves the freedom to find a partner that will be best suited for you. I know this will be hard, but in the long run I think it’s for the best.