He did go to the doctor about 3 years ago and got viagra, which worked quite well. However now he hasn’t bought it as he says its too expensive. I have tried to talk about the problem, but he says he cant help having this problem. I have left internet sites on for him to look at, to give some insight as to how its effecting our marriage as he uses the pc every morning. He pretends he hasn’t seen them.
I have even took my wedding rings off and told him I would now be sleeping in the spare room, he has not even made a comment about this. He says he loves me and doesn’t want me to leave, but his actions don’t seem to match this, please help as I don’t know what to do next.
Thanks for sharing this very intimate situation with me. It sounds like you are somewhat at a crossroads here.
Based on what your telling me, it sounds like your husband isn’t interested in having sex. If he knows that he can get viagra and it will give him an erection but refuses to, he probably has libido issues. This could be caused by several things, but a doctor could test his testosterone levels to see if there’s a medical cause.
While sex is important to a relationship there are also other things to consider. Does he treat you well? Does he love and respect you? Does he help and listen to you? If the other parts of your marriage are good than you may want to handle the lack of sex in other ways.
There are many ways for you to fulfill your sexual desires. Have you thought of getting some toys to help stimulate yourself sexually? There is nothing wrong with masturbation and in fact, it’s quite healthy. Get to know your own body and don’t be afraid to pleasure yourself. Invite your husband to be part of the process.
Many women find this to be even better than sexual intercourse as the penis doesn’t always adequately stimulate the many erogenous zones a woman can have. Use this as a time to explore new things and not as a time to abstain from sex just because your husband isn’t interested for whatever reason.
All you can do is encourage him to have sex, but at the end of the day, it’s his body and his decision, but this doesn’t mean you can’t have a great sex life pleasuring yourself. Perhaps this will also ignite some spark in him. On the other hand, if your husband treats you bad and doesn’t have sex with you, I would tell you to leave him and find someone that will satisfy you in all aspects.
All the best,