My Mother Calls Us Fat Pieces of Shit

So I am 20 years old and live with my mom and two sisters. My mom consistently calls us bitches, fat pieces of shit, and other names along with putting us down.

I honestly can’t move out because I’m paying for college and I’m working 20 hour a week, but don’t make enough money. I’m just curious if this is normal single mother behavior or abnormal and how I can approach her or do something about it.

I am tired of being in this situation and my sisters don’t deserve it. She was physical with me when I was younger (she gave me a black eye when I was in third grade and told me I couldn’t do a thing about it) and is starting that trend with my little sisters. I just don’t know what to do.

-Lynn

Dear Lynn

Thanks for sharing this situation with me and I assure you that this isn’t normal or acceptable behavior on your mother’s part.

She is obviously taking out her own lack of self esteem and frustrations out on you and your sisters. I think you need to find an adult that you trust ,maybe a close relative or a friend of your mother’s and talk to them about the situation and ask for their help. Then you and this person along with your sisters perhaps can talk to your mom about it. Hopefully this third person will keep your mom from over-reacting and being defensive.

Don’t accuse your mom on stuff, but simply use “I” statements that explain to her how her behavior effects you and your sisters. Ask her to get some help concerning what’s making her so angry and then taking the anger out on you. I’m sure your mom knows that how she treats you isn’t right and I’m sure she even feels guilty about saying those things. She just needs a bit of an intervention to cause her to wake up a bit and get her act together as a mother.

Words do hurt and damage, so I think that it’s great that you are standing up for yourself and for your sisters.

All the best,

Ted