Dear Nik,

Since I don’t know you or haven’t spent time around you, I can’t fully comment on any personality flaws you may have, but I can give you some things to consider.

First of all, people, even in the church, can be very judgmental and superficial. If they don’t like the way you dress, or think you are poor and needy, they will often shy away. Which is ironic to me because Jesus said to love and look after the poor and needy.

In my time I’ve seen people treated horribly by the church because they don’t fit the “norm” or “satis quo”. If this is the case with your church, find a new one. One that loves and accepts everyone.

Secondly, you could be caught in a cycle of a self professing prophecy. You believe you have no friends and that no one likes you, so you subconsciously do things to make this belief keep proving true. Perhaps you come across as too needy, or perhaps you talk negatively about yourself which turns people off.

Really pay attention to how you interact with others and what the emails you send say. Perhaps ask someone you trust for some honest feedback.

It’s sounds like you have a great heart of service and any church would be lucky to have you. Perhaps something is keeping people from knowing the real you or perhaps you are drawn to snobby people.

In any event, I think there is hope either by changing the environment or changing the way you view and feel about yourself.

Kindest regards,

Ted