I was wondering how to make the thought of my therapist moving far away easier. I have been going to a therapist for three months, I feel I have a great connection with her, and I feel like it will be really hard to cope with her being so far away. What can I do to make this easier? Is it ok if I ask her if I can stay in touch?
-Susan
Dear Susan,
This is quite common in a client and counselor relationship. The fact that you have been sharing intimate details with your therapist creates a deep connection. However, it’s important to remember that you are paying her to listen and help. She is not a friend per say. It’s important to keep this relationship in the right place in your mind and that is one of a professional client/counselor. Don’t get me wrong, these relationships can be special, but they are always just for a season. I would advise you to not put your counselor in a position where she would have to make an ethical decision. Perhaps she could refer you to another counselor with a similar style and philosophy?
All the best,
Ted
Hi, 16 years ago I met a girl at the church and we started to date. As a was a new christian I was still battling a sexual addiction which led to pre-marital sex with her. We were only dating about 6 months when she became pregnant. I was so confused and her parents thought we should get married.
When her Father and one of her brothers asked me if I loved her, I said yes. I was trying to convince myself that I did. We went to marriage counseling and the Pastor did a compatibility test and we were so far off, thinking in different directions he said that we would have a challenge, but reassured us that through God all things are possible.
We got married but it never felt right and I was not happy. We are attracted to each other, but we can’t stand each other’s personalities. After having our son, my sexual addiction came to surface again and I was unfaithful to her. 3 years into the marriage we separated for 3 years and I found out that we were going to have our second child. Not great timing. 3 years later I wanted to give it another try because I loved my kids that much and knew what it was like to grow up without a Father. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m almost 15 years old and I live with my mom and step dad in his house (he pays the bills, etc.) I generally believe I’m a good kid, I don’t drink or do drugs, I go to an advanced (gifted) learning school, and I don’t have a boyfriend or have sex. I try to keep the house clean (doing the laundry, dishes, etc.) and occasionally I even do extra nice things for my mom.
Since I was little, ( I do admit I get a little attitude when I’m angry) my mom yells at me for the littlest things, I have ADHD, but I’m unmediated so I don’t always hear/listen to/remember all of the things she asks me to do and when this happens (often) she gets angry and calls me lazy, fat, or ungrateful. Sometimes we get in arguments and she’ll be yelling at me, so I tell her I don’t appreciate how she speaks to me, or I’ll ask her to please calm down a bit, and she’ll chase me through the house and when I can’t run anywhere else, she’ll hit me until I’ll fall to the ground, at which point (depending on the severity of her anger) she might kick me.
She has even left bruises on my head to the point where it hurts Read the rest of this entry »
I am a young man in my late 20′s and have been going out with my girlfriend for about 8 months now. About 3 years ago there was this lady (ex-lover) I really liked and wanted to go out with but for some reasons she turned me down. I continued pursuing her within those 3 years doing everything to win her, but each time she turned me down though she said she loved me and that the problem was she didn’t know her plans and was not ready to be in a relationship. We did a lot of intimate things within those 3 years although I never slept with her.
I finally had to give up since she suggested I look elsewhere. So I searched but still flirted and did things with her. I then fell for a friend and we began to go out (my girlfriend now). I then told my ex-lover that I found someone although I didn’t specifically tell her that I was already going out because I thought she might be a little bit hurt by it. When I told her this, to my surprise, she completely changed insisting that I do not go out with my girlfriend and that she wanted to be with me. I told her no since I really wanted to be with my new girl. My ex-lover became hysterical, crying and begging me not to leave her and in trying to console her, holding and touching, I ended up sleeping with her. I felt very bad after the incident and told myself it shouldn’t happen again, but unfortunately I have tasted something I had always thought of for some years now and an edge for more developed.
I did not know how to deal with my ex-lover, I did not want to be with her anymore but did not know how to handle her constant crying and begging. I asked a friend of mine who said I should tell her to calm down and let me think things through. So I told her that, but telling her that was a mistake because it only gave her hope. Her hope and my sex drive, which I could not control, started an affair. Feeling guilty I tried to stop, telling her that she should forget about me but didn’t work. This continued for some months and the unfortunate thing happened, she became pregnant. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ll try to make it sweet and short, I’m in high school, and I absolutely loathe my school. Sometimes I get so sad and depressed about having to wake up and face the day because I know I have to go to school. My 9th grade year wasn’t too great..there were some things about my high school that I didn’t like a lot but I learned to ignore. Those things that I tried my best to ignore were the stereotypes, and often hidden racism people had. And my best friend and I stopped talking, ever since then I’ve felt more alone then ever and find it very hard to make good close friends.
10th grade year it got worse, I started experiencing & seeing these things way more. You see the thing is, I guess my school, the way I would see it, is broken into 3 things, The people who prove stereotypes to be right-then regular trying to do your best at school kids like me-and then the close minded, bigots of the school.
I’m black, but because I don’t “fit” the stereotype of my race, some people try to give me a hard time about it, or some-who are my “friends” make jokes about it, which makes me feel uncomfortable. And its really hard, having to hear people say such rude, racist things sometimes. Or hear people make stereotypical comments. It makes me angry, but at the same time I see why they have such close mindedness because some of these kids all their life lived here, and don’t realize that people in a race are not all the same. I live in the south Read the rest of this entry »
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