Parenting Two Boys

I need some guidance with raising my two boys.

I thought that over Dec holidays that we needed more quality time, as my husband and I run a very busy printing business we were lacking with quality time, so over Dec we went on holiday and spent loads of time with the kids doing activities, playing relaxing, it was very good. but I have a problem when they are together they seem to be competing constantly for attention, and often leads to tears and tantrums.

My four year old has picked up from his two year old brother that crying is a good strategy to get things, which I don’t understand as his brother very seldom gets it right.

Most of the time they are fighting about just about anything toys, space who gets to do things first, who gets to sit where. I find that the constant battle to keep things calm and pleasant is overwhelming me, and I am often so frustrated. They are better behaved with anybody but me, so I have been doing something wrong clearly. I have been trying to be consistent with discipline and sharing time for the last few months, but definately no fruits being reaped yet..

-Des

Dear Des,

Thanks for asking your question and who said parenting was easy…. Raising boys can be difficult, but I can give you a few suggestions. I think first off, don’t expect them to behave as “girls” which would be calm, orderly, quit etc. Boys like to be loud, competitive, and rough at times. So with this in mind, quit trying to make things “calm and pleasant” but instead let them be boys, but within boundaries.

I think you’re on the right track by being consistent in your discipline and make sure you never give in to them when they are crying to get their way. They have to understand that you are the boss and they have to abide by your rules. Just make sure the rules aren’t going completely against their nature as boys or you will have a never ending battle. This process takes time especially if prior to this you weren’t consistent. Bad habits die hard.

It’s hard to teach a two year old about sharing, but your four year old could help. Sit down with your four year old and teach him how to be a good older brother. Tell him you need his help and give him some responsibilities as an older brother.

Just be consistent and loving in your discipline and make sure your husband is standing with you united in this effort. It will get easier as they get older and give them plenty of avenues to let out all the energy boys have.

All the best,

Ted