Ask: A Son Standing Up to His Father.

My age is 15 years & I’m a Muslim. My father desperately wanted me to become a orthodox Muslim or “Hafiz” so he made me go for Madarsa for 2 hours each day so I could continue my school studies.( 4 years ago)

Thanks in advance,
SK

Dear SK,

Thanks for sharing your situation with me. I can’t begin to understand the complexity of this issue because of the cultural differences involved, but I do believe that some things are universal and that being father/son relationships.

No matter where on the planet you live, this relationship can be very difficult. It often stems from the father wanting to live vicariously through the son by dictating what the son should do or be interested in. However, more often than not the son’s desires don’t align with what the father desires and there is conflict. Eventually every son must stand up to the father.

In my case my father wanted me to be a hunter and sportsman, but I didn’t like those things. At 14 I had to tell him that I didn’t want to hunt or play sports. My father was also a strict man and he didn’t take this well. He was very angry and just about disowned me. It took some time but eventually because my father loved me, he came around and accepted me for who I was and wanted to be.

I wish I could offer you an easy way to tell him, but there isn’t one. Just be honest and speak from your heart. You could consider writing him a letter initially as this might be easier. In any event, He will be upset and angry and things might be tough for awhile, but I think he will come around and forgive and accept you for who you are. You can’t keep living a lie and you will feel so much better when everything is out in the open.

I wish you all the best and please feel free to leave a comment below and tell us how the talk went.