Should I Trust My Husband?

My husband and I are both in the military. We started out as just friends with benefits. When we got to our first duty station overseas, we became more serious. He was the first to say ‘I love you.’ He would always say after I get my life where I want it, I want you to be my wife.

So I would always say yes. I really did want to marry him, when the time was right. I was never the one to make friends easy and usually kept my distance from most females. So needless to say I had many male friends; who all thought I was a lesbian.

One day as we lay in my husband’s room watching a movie, one of our drunken friends came in and started talking to us. I’m still not sure to this day why I became mad but I did. I left and didn’t speak to him for about 3 days. This was just enough time for him to make a new ‘friend’ that I later on found out through text messages that they kissed and almost had sex.

A year went by and we found out that I was pregnant. Not wanting to wait like we’d planned, he decided to rush into it. Around my 6 month mark, I began to notice him acting strange. He’d take his phone with him to the bathroom and I’d wake up to him texting, hiding under the covers. Then the day came when I noticed that on my international phone there were missed calls and calls to a number I’ve never seen before. I called it back but got no answer.

We’ve been married for a year now and our son is 9 months old. The other day I noticed my husband acting the same way he did that day with the strange number. So after being tired of everything I confronted him about it and everything else. He tells me the ‘half’ truth. I call it the half truth because I found out the truth through old emails he forgot to delete and texts messages that he sent to me thinking it was her (I would pretend like I never received them). Now, I just don’t think I can trust him anymore.

He makes me feel so lucky sometimes, but other times I can’t even stand to be near him. Is there any help at all for me?

-Chantel